The Summary Judgment Reviews:
Title: Greatest Video Hits DVD
Artist: Poison
Label: Capitol
Release Date: 2001

Rating: 3 Skulls
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    • Reviewed by CYN (8/2/01):
    Ok. I'll admit it. I am a hair metal fanSumstill. I can't help the fact that I was in my teens during the mid to late 80s when hair metal pop was at its peak. Take that in conjunction with being a girl and being exposed to rock at a young age. I admittedly lusted after all those made-up, long teased haired, skin-tight leather wearing, pretty boy rock stars. Who wouldn't? Considering that my admiration for Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, and Kiss at that time was not so much based on their ,cuteness0/00, but more on their mystique and underground stigmaSumeven though I thought Kiss were way awesome looking. It was great when all the cheesy metal bands started popping up like weeds. I had eye candy now and it was very important as a teenage girl to fantasize about someone famous, even if he looked more like a girl than I did. So I had River Phoenix and hair metal.

    And here we are in 2001. Is hair metal back? Poison actually toured this summer with Warrant, Quiet Riot, and Enuff Z,Nuff. I guess these guys are still alive, huh? I kinda gave up on Poison when the 90s hit, but I always enjoyed the fact that they never took themselves too seriously. I actually wanted to go to that show, just for fun, but it was a laziness factor on my part that I didn't feel like schlepping to Jones Beach and, god forbid, paying for the ticket to the show. How sad! So instead, I was handed a copy of Poison's Greatest Video Hits on DVD. I still have yet to grasp the concept of owning a collection of music videos the same way you would own a collection of movies. I do have a few music video tapes, don't get me wrong: Iron Maiden's Maiden England, Video Metal Meltdown, Def Leppard's Historia, and Kiss: Exposed but it's just not as important to me to watch ,Talk Dirty to Me0/00 over and over again the way I could watch A Clockwork Orange 100 times over.

    If you are between the ages of 20 and 35 then you have sat through a Poison video at some point in your life and possibly didn't blow chunks. Hey, they won the VH1 greatest hair metal band of all time title. Can't beat that, right? I,m not going to bore you with all the gory details of each video in this collection here but let's just say that it was fun to reminisce about the old days when leopard print spandex and pink guitars were cool. I,m not embarrassed to admit that I knew pretty much every song here with the exception of the last 4. Just like most people, I like the older stuff better. I could say the same thing for most of those guys out there thoughSum. Motley Crue, Warrant, Bon Jovi, etc. but it's still fun. And hey, I won't even touch the subject of musical talent here. This is Poison we,re talking about, and videos mind you, not just music, so calm down. Alas, I have to make a couple of comments about a few of the more memorable videos here.

    I traveled back in time while watching the videos and that was ok. I would kill to be 15 again. Anyway, realizing that when you see these videos all back to back, they are all the same. In fact, all of the hair metal videos during the 80s are the same. Plotless. Sound stage. Crazy band hi-jinks and camera angles. Neon lights. Fireworks. And, of course, we can't forget the hairspray and makeup. But they were silly and completely un-serious which was good.

    Poison fit that mold exactly with their videos for ,I Want Action0/00 (which includes an opening diner scene and groupies), ,Talk Dirty To Me0/00 (,that Bret is such a nice boy0/00. I always LOVED the fact that the girl was named Cindy), and ,Nothin, But A Good Time0/00 (with that intro of the cute longhaired boy washing dishes in a restaurant kitchen and dreaming of the glamorous life). Then you have ,Cry Tough0/00, and ,Your Mama Don't Dance0/00 which are strictly live videos. OooohSum. how original! But I can't be mean because the music is hilarious and entertainingSum.and oh so 80s. The video for ,Fallen Angel0/00, which has to be my favorite Poison song, actually has a plot...sort of.

    ,Every Rose Has it's Thorn0/00 is Poison's swan song. Every hair metal band had to have a big power ballad in the 80s in order to make it in the world. This one includes live footageSuminterspersed with footage of slovenly, drunk, sweaty, tired band members. Slow motion, tough timesSumwait! Why does this all sound like the video for ,Wanted Dead or Alive0/00 by Bon Jovi? HmmmSum..

    After getting about halfway through the collection, my eyes began to glaze over and I kinda went numb. I have to say that the last few videos are a bit unmemorable except for their brand spankin, new one ,Power to the People0/00 which had a homemade quality, with wide-angle shots, and a patched together hand-held feel. I hardly recognized the band. Bobby has short blond hair. I think Bret has been losing his hair since you don't see him without some sort of head accessory these days. CC is skinny again, and Rikki has short trendy hair now too. Have they decided to ride the Dolce & Gabbana wave? Ok. No problem. It's Poison so I can't accuse them of selling out like some other bands who shall remain nameless have done in the last few years. As for the song itself, you wouldn't recognize it to be Poison either. It's sort of contemporary rock tune with a bull-horn voice thing going on. Interesting. I give OEem credit for still hanging in there. I will say that if you are a fan of any of the following things: hair metal, Poison, cheesy videos, Bret Michaels, or the 80s you might get a kick out of watching this. But I highly recommend taking full advantage of the fact that you can skip to the videos you want to watch, just like you can listening to a cd. Might be a good rental?
    3 out of 5

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