The Summary Judgment Reviews:
Title: Absolutego: Special Low Frequency Version
Artist: Boris
Label: Southern Lord
Release Date: 2/20/01

Rating: 1 Skulls
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    • Reviewed by Redwolff (4/5/01):
    Movies like "Godzilla vs. Mothra" and toys like the popular "Hello Kitty" line, which at this point have probably extended to enemas and power tools, make me feel that the Japanese, as a people, might possibly be kind of goofy. Now here's Boris, straight outta Japan, with a 73:24 two-song CD. Of bass chords. Which make my sea monkeys swim around fast in search of the whales that are apparently now inhabiting my apartment. At least a whale makes a high note once and again, when his jockeys are too tight or something.

    I put this CD in my stereo, patiently listening to a minute of low, extended, feedback-enhanced bass notes. Then for the next six minutes I got up and did stuff around the apartment, expecting all the while for Steppenwolf to start singing "Born to Be Wild" (it sounds much like the intro to that song), finally got impatient for the song to begin already and fast-forwarded a couple minutes. Then a couple more. At that time I strongly suspected something was awry, and that was when I discovered that the first song is over 65 minutes long and continues in that same vein the entire time. You would have to be higher than that satellite that's always watching me to find this "music" the slightest bit interesting. When I wake up in the middle of the night to find that the tv station I fell asleep to has gone off the air and is making that annoying, monotonic sound, I turn off the television. I do not decide it would be a good idea to make a similar sound for over sixty-five minutes, record it, and sell it to Southern Lord. I have to also wonder what Southern Lord was smoking when they signed these guys. Oh yeah, and the album was engineered by Fang's Anal Satan.

    Wait a minute, I'm at 10:10, and something's starting to happen to me. Jet-engine drone of doom beginning to sound like mother's comforting heartbeat when in the womb. Unable to concentrate on anything but Boris. Feel mind slipping away... must get to utility belt...
    1 out of 5

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