Musashi's Review:
In case you are wondering, the Milwaukee Metalfest is all about getting fucked up and listening to metal. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! I admit I was lamenting that I had to buy a plane ticket and fly to Milwaukee and buy a ticket to attend the Milwaukee Metalfest. It just seemed to me like a lot of money and a lot of trouble to go see everyone that was at the March Metal Meltdown (a/k/a the "Marshmallow Meltdown"). What the hell is so special about Milwaukee?
Anyway, I do not regret spending the money and taking the trip. I was told that Milwaukee Metalfest was the biggest metal event in the United States. I can see why. It was very big and very metal. Of course, it was very familiar at the same time. If you've attended a Jack Koshick event, you realize that he has the same decorator plan all his events. All the same vendors show up and peddle their wares. The same metal business people all attend. It gave me a reassuring sense of de ja vous to walk around the Metalfest and see all the familiar faces. I guess when you're that wasted, it's good to know you're among friends!
Some people will tell you that Jack Koshick's events suck. They're entitled to that opinion, but it seems to me that Jack is the only guy putting these events together right now, so I'šll applaud him for that.
The one issue that must be addressed before we talk about the music is the women. Why can't we get more women to these metal shows? I'm not talking about the big ugly ones... there are plenty of those. I'm talking about the pretty ones that like to show their tits? Listen, if you are a pretty, young women and you are reading this, I must implore you to show your tits to the bands. They need this! It's what makes men play the guitar in the first place! Hey! Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I think there is a special symbiotic relationship between musicians and groupies. And I'll be damned if there isn't a deficit of pretty groupies at these festivals. I can't tell you how disappointed I am to see these great bands up on stage playing their guts out to a bunch of horny guys only to come backstage to be greeted by more horny guys! That's gotta suck!
I don't want to go into great detail about all the bands. Overall, I think everything was really good. If a band sucked, I didn't stay long enough to find out who they were, so I couldn't even tell you about it. I will go ahead and mention the bands that I remember seeing and liking: Goat Whore, Bongzilla, Cephalic Carnage, Exhumed, God Forbid, Shadows Fall, Mayhem, King Diamond, Fall, Babylon Whore, The Chasm, Hate Eternal, Opeth, Deceased, Yellow Machinegun, Immolation, Entombed, Destruction, Crop, Impaled, and Children of Bodom.
Of course, I can't just say they all rocked equally. I think special mention should be made of Yellow Machinegun which is the best (and only) all-girl, Japanese, Death-Metal band I have ever heard. I would gladly pay to see them kick the shit out of Kittie! In my opinion, Destruction put on the best stage show. Lots of strobe lights - it looked like a big arena show in a tiny metalfest. Very cool. Although, Exhumed had fire and King Diamond had lots of theatrics, I thought Destruction was less cheesy and more straight ahead metal. One of my favorite metalfest moments was hanging out on the side of the stage while Immolation played. I don't really know how I ended up there, but I was zoning out watching the drummer beat the hell out of his drums and totally digging it.
For me the best bands, hands down, were Opeth and Children of Bodom. Fucking awesome! It doesn't seem fair that there are bands that are that fucking awesome playing at one-off festivals like this when they should be touring all over the U.S. Those guys SHRED!!!! I'm still dizzy from the blinding fretwork of those bands. I have to go practice.
There were a few bands on this bill that are probably ripe for the
mainstream metal market. I can't wait for aftershocks of Milwaukee
Metalfest to be felt! Now, if we could just move Milwaukee closer to New
York....
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