| [Bio]- | [Favorite Albums]- | [Favorite Movies]- | [Favorite Books] |
| [Email Abyss] | |||
| [Bio]- | [Favorite Albums]- | [Favorite Movies]- | [Favorite Books] |
| [Email Abyss] | |||
Abyss was originally a mortal walking amongst his bretheren as a
college student in upstate New York. One night, after drinking
heavily, this student got separated from his friends and wound up by
himself in a darkened wood. It was here that he was attacked by
vampires and made one of them. Originally it seemed like a great idea,
he basically slept everyday anyway, and he was already quite pale, so
no one really noticed. Problems quickly arose, however, making him
averse to his new lifestyle. First of all, as we all know, vampires
need blood to live. Without it, they grow weak. Unfortunately, in
order to get blood, you have to hunt. This takes much more effort than
one would think. It's bad enough waking up in the evening with a
hangover, but having to then stalk, capture, and kill prey is just
brutal. You're usually so nauseous, by the time it's all over, you
can't even keep the blood down. Bottom line: stalking a plate of
nachos is much easier. He originally tried to avoid this by drinking a
great number of bloody marys every evening, but his strength continued
to wane. He eventually asked the bartender what was in his bloody
marys and he soon found the problem. There isn't really any blood in
them. This led to the realization that he would need to find another
drink. (It also led to a false advertising lawsuit that is still
pending) The problem was that none of the major liquors really mix
well with blood….this vampire thing really just wasn't working out.
But the choice between eternal life sober, and an early death of liver
failure was really no choice at all. The problem was that in order to
get out of it, he would have to kill the head vampire. He was a little
embarrassed to admit that he didn't remember who that was……after all,
he had been drinking. So he decided to think over his situation during
his upcoming Semester at Sea.
It turns out his Semester at Sea was actually on a river. To be more
precise, the River Styx. (I cannot stress enough the importance of
meeting with your academic advisor). It was here that Abyss met a
skinny fellow dressed in purple named Lucifer. They went out to get
some drinks and Abyss got to telling Lucifer his problem. His new
friend seemed eager to help. Unfortunately, this is where the alcohol
had kicked in and it gets a bit hazy. But apparently, his new friend
had cured him of his vampirism for the small price of his soul. After
being reborn as a demon, his service to the underworld was to listen to
the enormous amount of metal albums that wind up down there.
Apparently almost every metal album produced is sent down to Hell.
Unfortunately, Lucifer isn't really a big fan. He's actually much more
of a rhythm and blues sort of guy. So now a soulless Abyss spends his
days listening to metal. Day after day after day. It really was the
best deal he ever made.
