Title: Ugly Artist: Life of Agony Label: Roadrunner Release Date: 1995 Rating: 5 Skulls
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Death's Review:
Everybody has those albums they like. More importantly, we all have those albums we love. You know, the truly excellent records which break new ground or take the genre to new heights. These are the records that make listening to music fun.

Then there are the albums that get under your skin, become a part of you, speak to your soul. The records that make an emotional connection, that make you want to scream the lyrics at the top of your lungs, the ones you listen to alone or with headphones on and which ultimately help to define your very identity. It's these records, for those of us who are obsessed with music, which remind us why music is our first love when it comes to the art of expression.

For me, Ugly is of this special breed. Why am I so enamored with this record? Part of the reason is also what makes it so difficult to articulate: the record is wholly unique. Life of Agony first hit the scene with a strong debut, River Runs Red. To be honest, I generally liked it but didn't buy the record. I was still lamenting the downfall of thrash, and these guys seemed to me to be just another metalcore band with catchy tunes and simple riffs. Cool enough, but nothing to get to excited about, and certainly not the antidote to my rapidly increasing depression brought on by the early 90's demise of technical thrash.

Only later did I realize the brilliance of this band, and particularly of their second record, Ugly. To know and love Life of Agony on the deeper level I describe above, one must fully digest all three records, including the virtually posthumous Soul Searching Sun. The three album set reveals a fascinating progression of a straightforward, early metalcore act into a strange alternative/pop/metal/rock hybrid that, while becomming progressively more commercial, only amplified their emotional core with each successive release.

While all three records are part of the package, Ugly best struck the balance between metal riffing/heaviness and the need to let the bird fly free. The beauty of Life of Agony is on display here in all of its glory: first and foremost in the unique and completely emotive singing of Keith Caputo (anyone know what he is up to? I think Roadrunner was going to release a solo album, which I understood to be along the lines of what Chris Cornell did by going "hard rock." Did this ever come out?) He is awesome, plain and simple. Add to this the brilliantly simple interplay between the riffing and the drumming, frequently moving to half-time and always ensuring the heads would be bobbing to the Black Sabbath inspired dirge of "Seasons," "Drained" and "Ugly." Understand this, and you're starting to get it, but seriously, you're only about halfway there.

This is so because for me, the coup de grace is the lyrics. When combined with Caputo's vocal style they hit home hard. The Alan Robert/ Keith Caputo poetry is just absolutely perfect. Themes of alienation and estrangement from parental figures are not uncommon, but rarely are they presented with such clarity and immediacy. The use of metaphor works aboslutely perfectly, particularly on the album's lyrical and emotional highpoints, "Lost at 22" and "Ugly."

"Lost at 22" is like my de facto theme song. The lyrics are simple, yet they resonate:

"If I knew what to do I'd do it
If I knew where to go
I'd get there someday
If I knew how to fly
I'd fly away and forget about life for a while
But it never is that easy
To just pick up and go
And don't do as your told
'Cause life never works out that way
If it were true the skies would be blue every day
If I knew how to fly
I'd fly away
If I knew how to fly away
Well I'm lost at 22
and I've got no fuckin' clue
No I don't know if things will work out right
I'm lost and confused
I'm lost at 22
And I don't know if my life's gonna end up right
'Cause they keep on telling me
That I'm young, dumb and naive
But that's just what they want me to believe
Well I'd rather be lost at sea
Than become part of this society
Where the grass is always green
And the air is always clean
At least that's what they want me to believe
I'm lost at 22
I'm lost at 22
I'm lost."

Awesome. Or try this, from "Ugly":

"Have you ever woke up screaming?
Have you ever woken alone?
When the walls around you won't stop laughing
Where do you go?
Sweat seeps in your eyes at night
And you realize
That no one understands you at all
Well I was bound to have a nervous breakdown
Should've seen it coming from miles away
So I packed my bags and started running
My brain's been shaking since yesterday
But there's only so far that you can run boy
There's only so far to leave your problems behind
'Cause when the problem's yourself you start thinking
No matter how far
You'll never leave it behind
No one uderstands me at all
Now I'm 22 with still no clue
Of who I am or who I'm supposed to be
I know it to you it sounds funny
You've got it worked out like it's a fuckin' disease
Started asking myself do I fit in?
Where I belong
Could this really be me?
Been feeling downright ugly
Tell me is this the way it's supposed to be?
So what's the difference?
You're doing fine
The clock keeps ticking as you lose your mind
The one you need to call you
Never calls
Sweat seeps in your eyes at night
And you realize
That no one understands you at all."

For space considerations, I won't transcribe "Let's Pretend," or the others, but let's just say that this stuff is more strikingly poetic than the stuff I read in school.

Even the choice of the Simple Minds, Breakfast Club cover of "(Don't You) Forget About Me" fits the emotional theme of desperate alienation. In short, this is a great record. The follow-up, "Soul Searching Sun," moved even further in this direction, but lost most of the metallic crunch along the way. That album is still brilliant, but probably best written about another day.

 

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