Artist: December Wolves
Label: Earache Records
Release Date: 5/28/02
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Title: Blasterpiece Theatre Artist: December Wolves Label: Earache Records Release Date: 5/28/02 |
Judgment Committee Reviews | Rating |
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Abyss's Review:
While I respect the originality of Blasterpiece Theater, I find myself unable to listen to it for long periods of time. December Wolves take a base of black metal, add a plethora of technology spurred music and samples and tie it up in a synthetic wall of sound. No shit, this thing's so manufactured it makes a Twinkie look like Mom's homemade cookies. I think one of the samples at the end of intro track, "Warning" sums it up quite well: "What kinda drugs are we going to need for this?"
"No shit, this thing's so manufactured it makes a Twinkie look like Mom's homemade cookies." I'm assuming that these guys have their collective tongues planted firmly in their cheeks (meaning each tongue to their own cheek, I'm not trying to get you to envision some large scale homosexual orgy... no matter what my therapist says) when they present songs such as "Desperately Seeking Satan," but at the same time everything seems so over-the-top I don't find anything to latch onto. Simply put, there is just too much going on here. Everything is so frantic that the album just falls on you like a pile of mush. Imagine putting ice, tequila, triple sec and lime juice in a blender... Oh wait, that's a margarita. Let me start over, imagine putting a burger, fries and a shake all in a blender. While they make a great meal served together, yet separate, they probably wouldn't taste all that good as an all-inclusive shake. That's what this album strikes me as. A good idea, but poor presentation.
I'm glad I own it however, just because of how unique it is. The black metal base that its centered around reminds me of the old school Norway sound, how black metal was presented before more accessible bands like Cradle of Filth, Emperor (later Emperor, I mean) and Dimmu Borgir began to dominate the scene. It has branched away from that original sound in many respects, but in a completely different way than those other bands. The few instances on this album when it all comes together are inspiring. Songs like the aforementioned "Desperately Seeking Satan" and "To Kill... Again" show just what this album could have been. Had all songs lived up to this potential, this album would be pure genius, but as it is, it just has fleeting moments of it. A big part of this is the rhythm section, which sounds like synthetic white noise. They could have replaced the drums and bass with static and the album wouldn't sound much different.
"They could have replaced the drums and bass with static and the album wouldn't sound much different." I've decided that this album is a 2 or a 4 because giving it a three is just missing the point. This is anything but middle of the road. I've decided on the lower score only because there is so much on this album that I consider flawed, and it almost hurts me to do so. A small shift in production values could turn this entire project around and birth a new generation of dominant black metal bands. One word review: Frustrating.
Death's Review:
December Wolves are an interesting act. Start with the album cover: A man in a suit holds a sword/knife in one hand and a rope in the other, except the man has snakes coming out of his head. This cover goes miles further toward describing this release than I ever could. The man has weapons, so you know that it is metal. Yet he has snakes coming out of his head, so you know it is fucked up. So what are we left with? American (from Boston) blackend death-grind, of course!
Moving on to the music itself, December Wolves lend a shrill, icy vibe to their death-grind as is befitting of their moniker. The riffs are there, providing full, thrashy delight, but they are buried in endless (and only sometimes clever) samples (e.g., "What kind of drugs are we going to need for this?") and an extremely raw and obviously purposeful production aesthetic which, I know, adds ambience for some; for me it just sounds like ass. I swear there are killer riffs on this thing, but I'm often straining to hear them. Why should I have to strain to hear the killer riffs!!???!!!??!!
"I swear there are killer riffs on this thing, but I'm often straining to hear them."
I suppose this is some sort nod to the black metal flavorings it appears this band would like to cultivate. But compare this to the last couple of Immortal records-- they also have sick riffing, and you can actually hear them! Personally, I'd prefer to hear December Wolves filtered through the Immortal style of production. I bet they kick ass live, although the pure, all-out chaotic grind drumming also is somewhat guilty of ensuring this album remains a mere record full of killer headbanging riffs without an ounce of headbanging groove on the entire platter. I often just hear a wall of chaos buried in distortion and noise. Sure, it is raw, and that adds a certain aesthetic aggression, but it also often loses me in all of the noise. It makes me think that if December Wolves were to reign in the chaos/extremity factor from 11 to 10 it would make a world of difference (but of course, this is metal, and suggesting any band become less extreme is surely some form of blasphemy).
"Sure, it is raw, and that adds a certain aesthetic aggression, but it also often loses me in all of the noise." Perhaps I'm missing something here, but unless you like it raw, extreme, shrill and noisy, you may not ever appreciate Blasterpiece Theatre as much as we both probably should based on pure riff-quality alone. But this one is simply targeted to someone looking for a bit less refinement in their metal than I am looking for these days. I've followed the Metal Judgment web board discussions regarding the merits of minimalism in metal, and I don't exactly understand it, I guess. Oh well, to each his own (although calling December Wolves minimalistic is simply unfair, so please don't misunderstand that my point is focused on the production values and perhaps the drumming and not so much the guitar parts). I'm looking for technicality/musicianship, precision execution/tightness and sick sounding instrumentation to combine with the onslaught of unbridled aggression, and December Wolves can't really deliver on all of those promises. But they are sure as fuck aggressive, and while I came close to giving this one 4 skulls based upon pure hatred power alone, on my own personal interest index, this one can rise no higher than 3. So there it is.
Hel's Review:
Let me cut right to the root of my problem with this album - it is two-fold. First, the production is just pitiful, it's tinny and horribly balanced, the vocals are almost completely buried, and I could go on, but why? I know, I know - it's a style thing, it's supposed to sound terrible - I don't care, I don't like it. The other problem I have with this record is the overabundance of sound bites. When used minimally, I have occasionally found them to be effective and amusing, but December Wolves is guilty of gross overuse. I have thought to myself, more than once, there may be as much of this crap as there is music on this disc. Sad.
"I know, I know - it's a style thing, it's supposed to sound terrible- I don't care, I don't like it."
The title is my favorite part of the album: Blasterpiece Theatre. December Wolves presents us with a disc chock full of neat little dings and noises mixed amongst the ripping distorted guitars, vaguely heard death growls, and somewhere in the back I think I may hear drums… I do not doubt that there is quality music on and great merit to this record, but I lack the patience to fiddle with the knobs until it sounds better to me. Overall, I would describe it as predominately death with black accents, and connoisseurs of badly produced extreme metal will certainly rank this album at the top of their must-have lists. I am confident that I would absolutely love this band in a live setting, but this album has failed to endear itself to me. 'Nuff said.
"Connoisseurs of badly produced extreme metal will certainly rank this album at the top of their must-have lists."
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